


Wanking

by Zabeta



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Committed Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Post TLJ, Ripped from Reddit, The RFFA Discord Made Me Do It, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 23:44:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18041354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabeta/pseuds/Zabeta
Summary: A harmless prank goes south, and it's up to Rey to figure out how to bring back the bond.Fluffier and angstier than the title implies.





	Wanking

**Author's Note:**

> ~~Blame~~ Credit to Pillar_of_Salt - a constant ~~menace~~ source of inspiration - for the idea, and the RFFA Discord for ~~enabling~~ encouragement and support.
> 
> Love and thanks to Leoba for looking it over on short notice! 
> 
> Inspired by this Reddit thread from r\relationships:
> 
>  
> 
> _Recently, I’ve been occasionally popping out of hiding and scaring/startling my husband. We both find it hilarious. Two days ago, I came home and realized he was in his office with the door open….I was going to grab his ankle with my bony little hand like the Crypt Keeper and scare the shit out of him. I get within distance and slowly reach my hand out to grab his ankle. Then I realize he is masturbating. I just totally froze and felt a mixture of horror and panic. I decide to slowly back up and reverse crawl out of the room. Before I can move, he looks down. He looks down and sees his wife on the ground at his feet, not moving, with her hand outstretched to grab his ankle….I’m an open book but my husband is very private about sexual matters and has seemed super embarrassed and uncomfortable since this happened…_

After the wars and the separation; after the pain of loss had faded; after she had forgiven him (entirely) and he had forgiven himself (mostly), they found their way into an unprecedented sort of playfulness. He left little hand-drawn surprises on her workbench (the last was two unfamiliar beasts in a forest, one with heart eyes and a scar, the other with a ferocious glare and a cascade of little knots of hair down the back of its head). She spliced into his holopad so that whatever he was reading would dissolve into a thousand hearts bearing one message, “you’re not alone!”

Their friends gagged in public, but agreed that Rey and Ben had earned their share of perfect, goofy happiness.

Rey and Ben had been more discreet about their Force bond play. They had never really explained it to anyone besides Leia, who had urged them not to go into detail with anyone else. Events at the end of the wars had proven her wisdom, and they kept it their own little secret, exploring and probing it, testing its limits and its possibilities.

For the last month, they had experimented with closing off the bond. Rey had successfully snuck up on Ben four times, jumping out at him and laughing like a fiend when he turned white, then red, then swore a blue streak. By the fourth time, he was also laughing with her. She lived for his laugh, still couldn’t believe she could make the light break across his face like that.

And so she embarked on her fifth experiment.

She hatched her plan when her team returned a day early from their trip off-planet. Before they even entered the atmosphere, she sent him a ‘don’t worry’ note and shut down the bond. She muted the household droids before opening their door manually, then silently stepped in and listened. They had learned that the bond was either open in both directions or completely shut off - she could not rely on it for information if she didn't want Ben to catch on - so she had to rely on her human senses. She heard voices coming from their study, and crept closer trying to hear who Ben was talking to, but he went silent.

Rey was better at this game than Ben because she was much, MUCH better at creeping. She dropped to her belly on the floor and slithered towards the open door, using movements she had taught herself as a child to slip between the layered hulls of dead star destroyers.

Ben was leaning back in his chair, his pretty dark curls partly caught between his head and the chair, partly spilling over the edge. He must be thinking about something deep and important. She hoped he wasn’t brooding again.

A giggle rose up from her toes and she had to bury her face in the carpet before she gave herself away.

Slowing down to make it the last few feet undiscovered, Rey realized that Ben’s breathing was off. He sounded hurt. She gathered herself to jump up and go to him when she noticed his arm moving in an odd way. He moaned, and the pieces fell into place. Warmth washed over her from head to toe, and she must have made a noise, because suddenly Ben was looking back at her with glassy eyes, his mouth open, and his gorgeous cock standing at attention in his hand.

\------------

One part of his brain knew what was going on as soon as he laid eyes on her.

_Bond is closed. Another prank. No threat. No danger. Normal._

But he felt a much more powerful part of his brain take control, paralyzing him briefly as it shut everything down. A second later, he regained control of his body and his mouth, but he couldn’t think of what to say. He felt nothing - no shame, no joy, not even a trace of the murderous fury he still felt for a heartbeat anytime anyone surprised him. He turned away, pulled down his tunic, and fiddled with the holopad that was projecting the image of a new landing craft across his desk.

“You’re home early.” _That sounded normal. Good._

“I am. I’m sorry. Ben, what…” Rey attempted before he cut her off.

“I didn’t realize what time it is. I’m supposed to be back at the Assembly in half an hour,” he shoved his holopad into his bag without looking at her. “I should be gone already! Um, bye!”

“Ben, wait!”

“Love you, Sweetheart," and he was gone.

After she’d stared at the door for a long moment, she went back to reactivate the household droids and set them to unpacking her kit. A piece of jogan fruit in hand, she curled up on the window ledge and tried to figure what the hell had just happened.

She had seen him touching himself before, but it had been ages ago, in the early months of their bond. It had been before she knew she wanted him the same way, but she had not been able to stop watching him. He had looked straight at her, rhythmically rubbing up and down the length of his cock until his arm stuttered, his eyes closed, and he cried out, “Fuck, Rey!” as if the words had been jerked from his lips.

She puzzled, and a small voice reminded her that he was probably getting tired of her by now. Probably the novelty of another force sensitive had worn off, probably he had met someone more interesting, more experienced, just MORE while she’d been off world. He was probably thinking of that other body, probably wanted to be touched by that other hand, but he was stuck with her.

She told that voice to shut up, but still decided not to say anything. Just in case it was right.

\--------------

The silence between them persisted, though they filled in around it as if nothing had happened. They made love ferociously that first night after Ben came home. In the next week, they talked about work, made plans for the recess, went out with friends and were almost exactly as before except for the sixth sense they had developed to avoid talking about Ben’s "study habits."

_“Hey, I’m so sorry about yesterday morning…” Rey began,_ _and Ben had flipped on his cloak, tripping backwards to get out of the apartment,_ _“Gotta track down some, um, rumors of Sith artifacts today.”_

_“Would you like a quiet dinner tonight? I’d love a chance to just talk.” Ben looked down at her with a wink, “Going to be late tonight, Sweetheart. But definitely can’t wait to make it up to you - wear the red thing.”_

The morning of the third day, she woke up in the dark hours of the early morning and realized that she had not really been aware of Ben in the bond since she’d come home.

It was not unusual for the bond to slip into the background of their consciousness. They had actually worked hard to get to that point, after the early days together when they thought they would go mad trying to sort out who felt what and who needed what and what other people had said to whom. The shared sensations had made sex truly mindblowing; they had spent hours lying together, learning the miracle of each caress in duplicate, as if the Force were making it up to them for starving them of comfort for all those early years. Ultimately though, having chosen to make their lives in society, they had had to find a way to turn down the volume of the messages they received through the bond.

But Rey realized it wasn’t just that the bond was in the background now. It had been as silent as it was when they closed it off on purpose. Rey lay staring up at the dark ceiling and focused on opening the connection. It remained closed, which meant that Ben - even as he slept - was keeping it shut down. She wondered at the skill it took to do that, before she remembered that he had probably learned to do it out of self-preservation.

She sat bolt upright in a moment of fury, wanting to shout at him for putting her in the same group with the monsters he had grown up fearing. She looked down at him, at his fist curled beneath his jaw and his knee drawn up like a child’s, and laid back down until the fury melted into resolution and she slept.

\------------

Ben missed Rey. He woke up next to her missing her, plunged into the warm depths of her cunt missing her, sat beside her in the evening missing her. It was agony, but it wasn’t an agony he’d never known before, the loneliness, so it felt safe. He hadn’t consciously done anything to shut down the bond, but from the moment he had looked down at the floor and seen his dick in the foreground and her confused face in the background, it had been locked down. He couldn’t think about what might happen if he let her in, so he did not.

He felt exhausted all the time now, and was staring sightlessly out at the garden, not moving, when she found him the next day.

“Nothing on your agenda today, right?” She rested one warm hand on his shoulder blade and joined him in gazing through the transparisteel.

He shook his head in response.

“Then can I have you all to myself?”

She felt his muscles tense, but he did not move away. She looked toward him and he sighed, “Rey, I don’t…”

“Please?”

Something in her voice made him look down at her. He realized that he hadn’t actually looked at her in days.

She didn’t ask for things often. They had quarreled before about her tendency to take care of everything without even thinking about how he could help make things easier. Now, there was pain in her eyes, and a determination written across her features that he had learned not to resist.

And he was so, so tired.

“What did you have in mind?”

Without answering, she took his hand and led him to his favorite reading chair. She encouraged him down into it and straddled his lap before she spoke. “We need to talk.”

He made himself nod, but he couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes, as if that might make Rey’s need to talk disappear.

Rey took a deep breath and kept talking, her words coming out in a rush. “Ben, it hurts when you shut down the bond. It hurts and it's confusing and I don’t really understand why you are doing it.” She stopped, but he kept his eyes closed, not sure what he was supposed to do next.

“Ben, talk to me.”

He opened his eyes to see the anger that he’d heard in her voice reflected in her eyes. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.” She stared at him. He looked away, then stood up, pushing her off his lap and into the seat he’d abandoned.

“Kriff, Ben! Where are you going now?”

“Not going anywhere. I just...can’t think when I’m sitting still. Need to move.” He paced to the window and back again. On his second circuit he said, “I know this isn’t good, Rey, but I don’t know what to say. It’s harder when you’re angry.”

She took a deep breath and tried again. “Ben, I am angry because I don’t understand. I want to understand. I know this is hard, and I’ll try to make it easier.”

Ben nodded, but kept pacing, bouncing on his toes a bit now and clenching and unclenching his fists.

“Did you notice the bond is shut down?”

“Yeah, I guess? Not really. Is it?” He stopped pacing and closed his eyes, focusing inward to reach into their connection as she had the night before. “I guess it is. I didn’t do that on purpose. But I’m not sure how to open it again, either. You’re sure it’s not you?”

“Pretty sure, Ben. Yeah.” There was an edge of sarcasm in her voice that made him flinch.

“Please, Rey. Don’t do that - I really don’t know what’s going on right now.” He started pacing again.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She took another deep breath and watched him pace. “Um, do you have any idea why you might have shut it down? Even if you didn’t mean to?” Rey thought the answer to this question was obvious, but she was beginning to realize that it was not obvious to Ben.

He paced more, but did not answer.

“Ben?”

“Um, I’m really not sure, Rey. It’s hard to think.”

She watched him pace silently for while she tried to focus on Ben’s point of view instead of her own frustration, which was telling her to jump him and hold him down until he started talking. Another deep breath, two more, and she had a better idea.

“Ben, would you be willing to try something weird? If you can trust me?”

Those words cut through the fog that had taken over his brain. She thought he didn’t trust her? She was the only one who had ever deserved his trust. The memory of Rey’s face looking up at him out of an escape pod, fear and hope in her eyes, seared through some more of the fog, and it occurred to him that maybe he wasn’t acting like he trusted her.

“Of course I trust you, Rey. What do you want me to do?”

“Sit there.” She pointed to a ladder-backed chair at the dining table. “Wait a minute.”

She walked out of the room and came back a moment later carrying a coil of fabric.

“What’s that?”

“My arm wraps,” she answered, unspooling the coil into two long strips of frayed linen. “I think they’re still sturdy enough, but you know you can break them if you need to. With the force or just by ripping them.”

He still wasn’t quite sure what she meant until she moved behind him and pulled one arm back, then began to wrap his wrist and the chair back together with one strip of the fabric. She wrapped him firmly, but the bands were soft and her hands were gentle where they grazed his skin.

“So, what, you’re going to interrogate me?” She heard a hint of cocky Han Solo in the question, but she had her hand on his arm and could feel the tension in his muscles.

“Nope. The opposite.”

“What?”

She tied off the second band and moved another chair to sit in front of him. “I am going to tell you things. And you are going to listen.”

He wasn’t sure why that made him want to jump up and start pacing again, but when he pulled at the bands wrapping his arms he felt the desire fade. He felt the muscles around the base of his neck relax for the first time in a week. Rey was looking at him, waiting for an answer, so he nodded and looked into her eyes.

“When I came home, and you were in your study, that was all fine. I mean, I’m sorry I surprised you. But I didn’t mind - I don’t mind - what you were doing. It’s just, when you left so suddenly, when you won’t talk to me about it, I worry.” She looked down into her lap, where her fingers were picking at the hem of her tunic.

“Rey…”

“No, wait.” She held up one hand. “I need to say all of this now. I worry that you were thinking about somebody else, or maybe you are just tired of me? I mean, I know that it’s stupid and of course that’s not the only reason people jack off and, I mean, it’s ok to fantasize about other people, but, um, that’s what I am afraid of.”

He tilted his head to one side and asked seriously, “Do you think about other people?”

“No, actually.”

“Neither do I. Ever. You were all of my fantasies before I knew you were a real person. I mean, I might have imagined you dressed in Stormtrooper armor, but it was always you.”

She looked at him with tears in her eyes, and a smile reflecting his own. “OK, we should talk a lot more about that at some point.  But now Ben, now the point is that when you blocked me out, I assumed something was really wrong.”

“OK.”

“Ben, is something really wrong?”

“No, no! Not like that!”

“So what’s going on with the Force bond? You’re protecting yourself - that much I understand - but from what? From me? Because I caught you wanking?”

“Ugh, please, Rey, don’t use that word!”

“Wanking? I mean, that’s what you were doing, right?”

She watched the wash of blood flood up his throat and across his cheekbones.

“It’s disgusting, Rey, I know. It’s a terrible habit, and I won’t ever do it again.”

The incredulous question on her lips faded as the first hints of his feelings began to trickle across the bond. There was genuine shame, paired with the dark threads of a self-hatred she had thought was extinct in his heart.

“Oh, Ben. Stop, please stop.” She knelt at his feet and looked up at him through tears. With her hands on his knees, she could feel the bond open wider, and she sensed the larger pool of self-hatred that had risen in Ben while he had been walled of from her. Tears ran down Ben’s face as he saw himself through her eyes, and recognized the darkness that had been sneaking up on him while he had tried to protect himself. She felt the swirling rush as he began to sink deeper into the despair that had been waiting for him.

“My love...Ben. Please stop. Look at me.” He shook his head with his eyes squeezed shut, like a child. “I mean it, look.” She tilted his chin up to face her and caressed his cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for letting me back in. Focus on me now.” She closed her eyes and focused on her relief at having him back, the joy and hope it gave her to know they were still connected. And when she was sure he knew that, she showed him the excitement she had felt as she crept up on him, the moment she had realized what he was up to.

She moved her hand away from his face, and waited for him to open his eyes again. “So, I don’t know who told you what, or why you think I would ever think anything about you was shameful or disgusting, but here’s what I wanted to do when you stopped.”

She put her hands at his waistband and started to pull down, then looked up at him again. “Is this ok? May I?”

He nodded, silently, and lifted his hips so she could pull everything down. She pulled the pants off gently, one leg at a time, before running her hands back up his legs as she pulled them apart. She shuffled in closer, between his knees, and bent to kiss his cock, which was just beginning to show his interest in her movements. Delicately, she licked the very tip, then relaxed her tongue and licked a broader path across the head. She reached out to him, through the bond, looking for any sign of hesitation, but all she could feel was Ben’s wonder at how safe he felt in his bonds, with Rey taking care of him.

As Ben’s cock rose up further, she took it in her mouth and gently sucked, coaxing him harder while she circled the base with one hand and stroked the skin under his balls the other. When he was fully erect, she shifted her body back to give her more freedom to move and held his hips hard so that she could move up and down the entire length, sucking and swirling her tongue in the way that she knew would quickly bring him to the edge. She closed her eyes to focus on the smooth skin stretched out under her tongue, the musky smell trapped in the dark hair that tickled her nose when she buried him in her throat, the exact angle she needed to give him the most friction and her the smoothest movement. When she felt all of his thoughts fall away, so that only his mounting pleasure still flowed across the bond, she stopped.

She shifted back onto her heels and wiped the spit off her mouth with one hand. “That’s what I wanted to do.”

Ben was a mess. His hips still bucked as he whined, “Fuck, Rey, don’t stop!” he whined.

“How badly do you want to come, Ben?” She moved behind him and started to untie his arms.

He gave her a wordless, needy sound in response.

“Good. ‘Cause it’s your turn.” She loosed the wraps on his second arm and ordered, “Stand up.”

Ben wasn’t sure what was happening, but he wanted Rey’s mouth back on him, so he stood and turned to her, reaching for her shoulders where she kneeled by the chair.

“Huh-uh,” she backed away. “I want to see you touch yourself.”

“Rey, it’s not…”

“Seriously, if you want to come, you’re going to have to take care of it.” She moved behind him again and pulled his shirt off over his head, before returning her hands to his hips, gliding her hands around and down the muscles of his ass, slipping one hand between his legs and stroking the soft, ridged skin behind his balls. He groaned, and brought his hand down to touch himself, relaxing a bit when he realized she was nuzzling the muscles of his back and couldn’t see him.

She moved her hands around to his front, interrupted his work to squeeze his cock once herself before sliding up his abdomen and ribs, stopping at his nipples. She brushed them with her fingers lightly until she felt them rise up into peaks, then she began to roll and pinch until she felt him flinch. She moved around to his side and put her mouth on the bud she had just abused, soothing for a second before starting to suck and bite and tease.

Ben’s head was thrown back and he had found his rhythm. His breathing was harsh, a deep almost-voiced sound that caused a rush of warmth in Rey’s sex. She stood back from him, one hand still warm on his ass, and let him feel her desire for him, the way his beauty affected her, the throbbing tension she ached to resolve.

He came back to himself for a moment and directed her, “You come, too.”

She moaned at that, and slipped her hand into the waistband of her leggings and her panties. She probed her swollen lips for the slippery moisture there and brought it up to the hood of her clitoris. Her eyes never left Ben, who was staring back at her with all the intensity he’d shown the first time she’d watched him touch himself through the bond.

As he reached his peak, she could see his legs tremble, and she reached out her unoccupied hand to steady him. She grabbed his forearm and he held on tight, steadying her in turn as her own legs began to seize. She came first, her whole body shuddering as she continued to rub, her fingers moving more gently but expertly prolonging the rush. Her cunt was still spasming when Ben came with a shout, spilling ropes of semen across their clasped arms.

Rey waited until he had stopped stroking himself, and moved her body closer to his without letting go of his arm. Ben’s head had dropped forward, and he was still breathing hard, eyes closed, when she whispered, “You are so good. So good for me, Ben Solo.”

She wasn’t prepared for the hard, ravishing kiss that came next. He grabbed her and lifted her body towards his bent head, pouring apology and desire and gratitude into her mouth with bruising lips and demanding tongue. He let her down again and pressed his forehead to hers, letting the feelings flow back and forth between them.

Ben pulled back and smiled, a big happy smile, which turned into laughter when Rey asked him what he was thinking of.

“My face, the way you saw it when you snuck in. Do I really look that stupid when you surprise me?”

“I wouldn’t say stupid...dumbstruck, maybe. You actually look really terrifying at first, but I live for the moment when the fury goes away and you start to smile - when you let the light win. It’s probably not fair to make you go through that just to see it, though.

“Fair? No, probably not, but I’ll just have to figure out how to bring out your dark side sometimes.” He kissed her in a way that hinted at his meaning.

“Hah!” she teased when they broke for air. “Threat or promise?”

He laughed darkly against the skin of her neck, making her shiver. “We shall just have to see.”


End file.
